Yesterday was my brother's birthday. I haven't seen him in 2 years. The last time we talked was the day after my birthday in 2008. I called him. He didn't seem to notice that he forgot my birthday the day before.

During his early 20s he made a lot of poor choices, and as a result, didn't have the best relationship with the parental units. I was always the in-between person who attempted to bridge the gap. My place in the family was the one who attempted to bring them together. This went on for years.

After I moved out of my parents' house he got married. He came to visit me once. From 1995 to, well, now, he has been to one of the 8 homes I have lived in. There were times when I lived in San Diego when I found out that he and his wife spent the weekend just 5 miles from me and never called. Basically he just didn't seem to make the effort anymore. But, since my job was to bridge the gap between him and my parents, I never said anything. I don't really know what happened.

Now, they are in the midst of coming out of a family feud with his wife's parents. Her dad was diagnosed with a terminal illness, which brought them out of the feud and got them to talk again. But, for some reason, now he makes no effort to talk to my parents. It's been so bad that they finally called him out on it. On his voicemail. As a result, there are no calls on Father's Day or Mother's Day or anybody's birthday.

Until about 3 months ago, I still had the will to fight for this. I saw what it did to my mom, how my dad secretly suffered inside through a situation he didn't fully understand. None of us really fully know why he's doing this. He's been called out on it a few years ago and completely acted like there was nothing wrong. He did the same when I talked to him last December.

Now, I am about to give up. I don't have it in me to fight anymore. I've been fighting since 1991. I'm done.

1 comment:

Predo said...

Somethings are just out of our control. It is in our human nature to take the blame or feel responsible, but that does nothing for resolution. You can not make him do anything he does not want to, and you can not feel discouraged for it. You must simply stand and face that thing we humans feel most uncomfortable with, misunderstanding.

Sorry Kitten. Big Hugs too you!!