This Post is Rated PG-13

I've been out of town on business all of last week. I went to see a very nice and fun client in Rhode Island. I've never been to RI and liked it very much. There was one incident that occured that I have been told that I MUST blog about, so here you go.

***Warning: If you are extremely sensitive to adult topics, please stop reading here. All others, have I got your attention yet?***

On my last night in RI I had just wrapped up 2 consecutive days of all-day meetings. I was exhausted, had a headache and was looking forward to sleeping in before the long journey home. So I grabbed some sushi, changed into my pj's and proceeded to watch Sex and the City. I fell asleep in the middle of the episode where Carrie first gets together with Aidan.

At approximately 3am, I was startled awake by the sound of somebody trying to open my hotel room door. They were sliding the card key in and out, and turning the doorknob. In the background, I could hear what sounded like three extremely drunk girls attempting to get the door open. After a few minutes one made the incredible discovery, "This is 204, we're in 202!!!" At this point they proceed to roll on the floor and laugh directly outside my door for 5 minutes.

After the incredible discovery was made, they went into their room and immediately turned on porn. It was so loud I could pretty much hear every word that was said/moaned. So I began to bang on the wall. This was only met with laughter from my 3 female neighbors. So I called the front desk, telling the lady that the people next door were watching TV extremely loud. She assured me that they would be sending somebody right up. It actually took 15 minutes.

During this time, the porn was turned off. And was replaced by the real thing. The incredibly loud screaming was slightly less loud than the bangining of the headboard and the squeaking of the bed. I was sure at this point that everybody in the 5 story building and surrounding counties was awake. Being completely awake, I decided to text my hubbie, who I was sure would still be awake, since it was midnight PST.

Me: OMG I am not even kidding. It's 3am & there's a lesbian 3-way going on next door.
Him: Dude that is so hot!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not much help in the sympathy department there.

Finally I heard the elevator ding, help had arrived. Peeking out the peep hole I noticed that the help sent from the front desk was a very young bellboy. 17 years old at the very most. Poor guy, he was in for quite a surprise. He proceeded to knock on the door, but obviously my neighbords were too busy to answer.

I decided to get out of bed and pop my head out the door, just to offer the poor bellboy my help. I wasn't able to say a word before he offered the following: "Maam, um I don't think that's a TV." This made me LOL, in fact it still does. Nothing could be done, nature had to take it's course. And it did, over and over again for about an hour.

When I finally woke up the next morning, I decided that they needed a rude awakening themselves. So I called their room, let the phone ring twice and hung up. 10 times in a row. Happy hangover ladies!


Predo said...

Vindicated! Nice!!!!

Those darn lesbians! At least with gay men, they re-arrange the furniture before turning on the porn! Gives you some notice!!!!

(Sometimes!) Serendipitous Girl said...

Ohmahgah! That is HILARIOUS! And I LOVE your phone calls to those bitches.

(P.S! Predo and I are going to attempt to woo you to stop working and instead come have drinks with us!)