Officially The Worst Day of 2005

Vegas was awesome. I'll post pictures later, I got some really good ones. But, it's what happened on Tuesday, the day we came home, that sucked ass. Please sit back and enjoy the misery that was officially my worst day in 2005:

Incident #1 - The Bitch At The Airport

As I entered LV airport I headed for the Alaska Airlines e-ticket counter to print out our boarding passes. It only printed my husband's and not mine, so I asked the lady at the counter to help me. She quickly prints out a boarding pass and sends me on my way. After trecking for about 10 minutes and up 2 escalators I go to the secruity dude and show him my boarding pass and my ID. He says "Uh, this isn't you." I look, and sure enough the counter lady gave me my husband's boarding pass, not mine. So we treck down 2 escalators and 10 minutes back to the ticket counter. I cut through the line because I don't think that I should wait another 30 minutes in line for somebody else's mistake. As I approach the counter this crazy woman gets in my face and demands,

"Oh no you don't, we were next. You are NOT getting helped before us."

So I say, "Look, I have already waited in this line once, she gave me the wrong boarding pass."

So she says," Look, bitch, I don't want to start a fight or anything."

To which I reply, "Then don't call me a bitch, cunt."

Just then her husband chimes in with, "Get the fuck out of the way, bitch."

So then my husband says to him, "Don't you call my wife a bitch, you short bastard."

Just then the lady from the ticket counter hands me my boarding pass and tells me to leave now.

Turns out, those lovely people were on our flight. They wouldn't even look us in the eye. Every time they passed by us we gave them the biggest smile we could.

Incident #2: The B.O.

The guy on the plane sitting in front of me smelled SO INCREDIBLY RANCID. For 2 hours I had to endure him moving around, lifting his arms to stretch. All while emitting this horrible B.O. I opened up a bottle of vanilla lotion and literally shoved my nose in it for the remainder of the flight.

Incident #3: Hate Mail

So we finally get home from the airport. The weather is beautiful, our tulips had started to bloom, things were looking up. I get the mail. There's a letter in there that is addressed to:

Our Neighbors At:
Insert my address here

I open it. It's a little slip of paper with a typed message:
We hope you had a nice Sunday
Because we didn't
Your dogs were barking all day Sunday into the evening.
It was very disruptive.
I hope that you don't take this type of disrupition lightly.
Because we don't.

That's all it said, it was mailed obviously from one of my neighbors, but they didn't have the balls to own up to it.
I love all of my neighbors, and it pisses me off that this one douchebag doesn't have the balls to tell me this in person. Now I have to suspect innocent people and that makes me feel like shit.

11 comments:

BigDubb said...

Fuck, finally, I can leave a fucking comment.

Your travels sound shitty. I hate peeps like that.

I gotta send you a pic of something, I thought you and B might enjoy. lemme know what email you want me to sent it to
(BTW, NSFW).

Gald your back, I missed you.

Dave said...

Ok, so I don't know you (followed the link from ORblogs), but I've got to side with your neighbors on this one. It's a simple point: if you aren't going to respect them enough to ensure that your dog isn't barking nonstop while you leave, why do they owe you the respect of sending you a signed note?

ab said...

Because if you're any kind of HUMAN BEING you will have the human decency to tell a person that something is bothering you. If you send an anonymous letter, and take the time to put a 37 cent stamp on it and throw it in a mailbox, you are obviously either afraid to deal with concequences or you have no cajones to begin with. And, yes, I will be sure to wire up the long-range dog monitor next time I travel out of state. Better yet, why not remove their vocal cords? You see, the dogs never bark. But this day they did because the dog next door was barking constantly. I am not so stupid that I would annoy my neighbors on purpose. I am not that inconsiderate. There, I've said my peace. Carry on.

BigDubb said...

how the fuck are you supposed to stop a dog from barking when you are a shit load of milea away?

Dude, your nutz

T-man-Sam_former Visigoth and musical Goddess said...

Yes, Dave would make a terrific dinner guest, Lecturing and bitching at the hostess, admiring the Jones's, complaining about the dogs, disliking the food all the while tracking his muddy shitkickers all over the carpet.
With a fond farewell 3 hours after all the other guests have left he would carefully point out all the things you could do better or improve upon.
Would that be all??
Nope! on the way to bed you would discover Dave had forgotten to flush.

T-man-Sam_former Visigoth and musical Goddess said...

Well told funny story. I enjoyed that Agnie.-airports sheesh--

Here is your story in 10 sentences.

#1: The Bitch At The Airport, a crazy woman gets in my face and demands, "Oh no you don't butt in, Look, bitch, I don't want
to start a fight."
"Then don't call me a bitch, cunt."
her husband "Get the fuck out of the way, bitch."
my husband "Don't you call my wife a bitch, you short bastard."

#2: The B.O guy in front of me smelled SO INCREDIBLY RANCID.
#3: Hate Mail " hope you had a nice Sunday. Because we didn't.Your dogs were barking all day Sunday. don't take this type
of disruption lightly. Because we don't."

it pisses me off, one douchebag doesn't have the balls to tell me this in person. makes me feel like shit.

katie said...

Dave is just like the anonymous neighbor. Posting without allowing us to link to his page. Nice.

I have had the same type of problem with a certain neighbor. I got an anonymous letter signed "your neighbor". It wasnt too hard to figure out which one it was though since he is the ONLY one in the neighborhood without a dog. They are dogs. They are going to bark occasionally. Non-dog people just don't get it.

Did you win any money in Vegas?

ab said...

I did win like $200. But then the damn stripper got it all.

ab said...

I did win like $200. But then the damn stripper got it all.

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Paul