Oprah, Oprah, Oprah!!!

So I flew in to San Diego tonight. I'm waiting for friends to pick me up for dinner & I thought I'd share with you the very annoying woman I met on the plane. Let's call her "Nancy". Why "Nancy"? Because Nancy was the know-it-all girl in high school that felt the need to tell everybody her opinion, most often when it was not asked for.

So airplane "Nancy" notices that I have a small pillow with me. This is a pillow that was given to me by a relative one Christmas when I traveled a lot. It's small enough to take on a plane to help you sleep. Moving on. "Nancy" looks at my pillow and says "that's a cute pillow must be more sanitary than those airplane pillows". I say, "Uh huh". She says, "You know Oprah travels with a pillow everywhere she goes. Just like this one." (Pointing to the one on her lap.) "She says that there are over 1 million germs that are on those airplane pillows, just waiting to give you cancer."

Wait, cancer? From a pillow? This was news to me. But she just kept going, "Oprah says that we can avoid so many germs and diseases just by washing our hands. She washes her hands at least 10 times a day, sometimes even more. Her friend Gayle is completely obsessed with washing her hands."

I started to slowly look away each time she said Oprah's name. I have nothing against the woman (Oprah that is), I just hate her desciples. So I ask Nancy "You sound like you know her pretty well, are you friends or something?" "No," she says, "But the one thing I want to do before I die is go to a taping of her show."

Now, we all have things we want to do before we die. I personally would like to go back to Austria where I lived when I was 7, visit the relatives I have never met in Australia, go hang gliding over Hawaii...things like that. But whatever, we all have our shit. Some are just lamer than others. Was that mean? Oh well, bite me "Nancy". I spent the rest of the flight reading and making sure that I didn't touch anything that would give me cancer.

2 comments:

BigDubb said...

I still regret I missed out on my life long dream of attending a Donohue taping.

? said...

LOL......bigdubb, you crack me up.